Tuesday, August 15, 2017

MASSIVE SALES OF DUNGEONPUNK RPG! and an attack by The Holy Zion Southern Women's Baptist Association!

HOLY CRAP!

MASSIVE SALES OF DUNGEONPUNK RPG!

I have set all sales records!

I am trying to sell 1.5 million copies!

AND

I GOT ATTACKED BY NONE OTHER THAN MARY JO HEISZENFRO from The Holy Zion Southern Baptist Women's Association! 

This wackadoo believes that DUNGEONPUNK RPG is a tool of Satan as well as the internet. 

Turns out one of her member's adult child had a copy of my game and was caught naked with it! 

Turns out her and her group were kicked out of their church and went out and made their own. 

What's funny is her and her cronies because they don't use the internet have harassed the people that live at my old address!  

Like showing up at 3 in the morning in their choir robes signing hymns! 

People thought they were the Klan and shot at them!  

All I can say is!!!

Total Hysterical Ignorant Stupid 
Stupid Total Orgasmic Rudementry Yellow 
Imbecilic Silly 
Nauseating Oblong Titular  
Truly Rude Unsung Enigmatic!    

Eldrad 

Sunday, August 6, 2017

The first four books of Back to the Dungeon RPG are now Pay What You Want!

The first four books of Back to the Dungeon RPG are now Pay What You Want! 

Please enjoy! 


IF you do then send me a few bucks IF you can.

Hardcover compilation coming one day!


Sunday, July 23, 2017

Excerpts From Punkinberg

Excerpts From Punkinberg 
the up and coming
Supplement 
for
the
DUNGEONPUNK
RPG

DUNGEONPUNK
PUNKINBERG

NOTE: You the Game Master are now on your own on what the numbers are needed to roll. Make up a difficulty from 1 to 20 and see if they beat that number or just let them roll and interpret by how well they roll. You can also roll dice against dice and see how that goes. Just wing it. Give the example characters weapons as needed. Add more detail as needed.


One giant rotten stinking city state built upon layers of foul ancient ruins is Punkinberg. It sits upon atop a great mountain spire with high walls and a precarious road that one could drop off to the sharp rocks below. Once a small outpost, it grew into a vertical city and a kingdom. It's castles and noble districts glowing like a beacon into the night. It's the midway in a trade route so it's always full of out of towners. It also has an inland dock on a freshwater sea that has another nation across from it.

The Lord Mayor Rufus Malthus of House Malthus runs the city. He is a large fat heavily perfumed but still smells of shit and sweat type of guy. He has a huge greasy head of curly hair and has fancy clothing and white makeup. He is 35 years old. He has many piercings and quite a few pieces of jewelry as well as a silver grill. He is playing all sides and will do anything to keep in power. The Mayor controls the Town Guard and the Sheriff. Destiny 4

The Sheriff Gibby Sun is a little red haired man with a sick attitude. He is 45 years old. He has stabbed his way to the top of the Town Guard and became Sheriff and is stuck up the ass of the Lord Mayor. He is always in his fine chainmail and carries his magical sword Punkslayer and his magical shield Reflectoir. He has his “special” group of mercenary DUNGEONPUNKs he calls the Sun Dogs. They all wear some sort of bright gold tabbard with a sun symbol on the front and back. He has control of the Town Guard as well. Destiny 8

The King Reginald McManus of House McManus is a dashing tall man with long blonde hair. He is tattooed from head to toe with pictures from ancient tales. He normally walks around bare chested with white leather pants and high boots, dragging his family sword Goonkiller in one hand and a bottle in the other. He is 37 years old. He tries to hold onto power but his father left the royal house with too many enemies. Characters that do heroic things shall gain his attention. Destiny 12

The Prince X McManus of House McManus is a spitting image of his father just better looking. Yes his name is just X. He is 15 years old. He cares not for this life and yearns to be free of it all because the prince has no clue and has no knowledge of how shitty the world really is. The prince is stupid. Destiny 3

The Earl Markus Rothchild of House Rothchild is an old DUNGEONPUNK with a purple Mohawk and fine purple garb. His pale skin is accented by dark purple lipstick. He has many silver piercings and jewelry. He makes claim to the throne as his uncle was next in line but killed in childhood, SO thus the crown should have gone to him but he was imprisoned. He has his Rothschilds in their purple tabbards working as muscle for him. Destiny 8

Lord Dorfus of House Dorfus is a Nobleman who worked his way up the ladder as a former slave Bureaucrat in various positions. He is small, bald, and fair as he is a eunuch. He is always very well dressed and surrounded by his 10 or so other little men who are eunuchs as well. He is very knowledgeable in heraldry and everyone of the movers and shakers from high to low in Punkinberg. If you want to know something then talk to him. Destiny 5

Earl Contentious of House Contentious is a minor noble who has aspirations of gaining the throne. He is old and wrinkled with a white mass of hair that looks like a lions mane. He has many piercings and jewelry of silver. He is pretty much a low noble and is terribly in debt. He is vile and evil and is know as a total worm by everyone. He is a drug addict, alcoholic, thief, murder, and liar. He is famous for beating up his child servants for just sheer evil pleasure. In fact he makes a show of it at dinner parties that are not attended by any Noble with any face. His dinner parties are a great place to meet really bad people, cultist, and devil worshipers from the Low side of the city.

Lord Blackfire of House Blackfire is a sharply dressed nobleman with long black hair and beard. He wears leather and jeweled garb and carries a sword stolen from conquest. He is rumored to be a Warlock and devil worshiper. The rumor is true. He does not care if he burns down the world as long as he helps it burn. His tabbard is black leather with an eye on the chest. Destiny 8

The Bishop Isadorous of the State Church of the Fire God is always immaculately dressed in his robes and likes the young men as he always has one at his side. He always has hair and makeup like a weird old woman. He vies for power playing all sides sides and has the power of the State Church backing him with his Red Guard. He is a Healer of great power with a Destiny of 8.

The foreign Prophet Rasputin of the Church of the Mountain God has black robes and long wild deadlocked hair and beard. He is a healer of great power. He tries to incite the people for revolution with his soldiers he calls the Dreadlocks. Destiny 8

Garducci is a foreign diplomat. His two trusted men that accompany him are Porcellini and Bartolinni. They were weird fancy foreigner clothing with lots of jewelry and are heavily perfumed. Their public face is very sociable and kind. They are always throwing charity events for the poor. The Diplomats try and turn everyone against each other by planting rumors and framing up anyone they can. They plan on the Prince marrying their Foreign Princess and will have any rivals assassinated. They all have a Destiny of 6.

The Foreign Princess Nikita Polarmo is a beautiful girl with long black hair. She is sporting a left black eye. She wears Gothic medieval style. She is only 15 years old. She has been trained since birth by the King and Queen Polarmo to get what she wants at any cost and will do anything to marry the Prince. They will then assassinate him and take over the country. She will kill anyone in her way. She is so evil that she tends to kill at least ten or so servants a week. She always has a supply of fresh servants to torture and kill. Her servants are always looking down and show evidence of torture but are also immaculately dressed. She is smart enough to keep this evil side a secret. She has learned to use magic items and may have a few powerful ones. Destiny 5

The Escaped Foreign Servant Girl Mikki has been marked for capture, not death. That will come at the hands of the Foreign Princess Nikita! It appears this servant girl punched the Princess in the eye and escaped with her life when she was being choked out. She is 18 years old. Destiny 2


The Nobles families play all sides vying for position. Almost all nobles are cruel and evil. They will try and kill each other to move up in power. Make up different Noble families to add to these. 

The rest of the city will be detailed but left open for customization. 

Sunday, July 2, 2017

DUNGEONPUNK CHARACTER SHEET

Being a DUNGEONPUNK you are in a world of backstabbing and deceit. How does one get out of this life? By adventuring in Dungeons and Ancient Crypts! Dungeons and Ancient Crypts are found everywhere. There most likely is one below the city, but if it has already been found then it's most likely looted.They go deep and have their own rules. For some reason the creators of dungeon always filled them with traps. What sick mind would do that? One who wants their treasures for themselves even if they are dead. That won't do. So what kid of traps are there? A game master can never stop making them up. Pit traps (with spikes, acid, boiling oil, flaming oil, etc.), darts, blades, heavy objects, traps, chutes, gases, poisons, alarms, magical effects, and whatever you can devise! Monsters are everywhere in dungeons. IF a dungeon has an empty area then it's trapped or there is something worse than a normal monster. Humanoids, evil cults and the undead tend to stalk dungeons as well as weird lowlife creatures such as giant insects, worms, slimes, and oozes. Dungeons undiscovered and not looted are full of gold and treasure. Remember that there are Magic Items that rule and suck. The Game Master should make up different magical rings, necklaces, belts, potions, scrolls, weapons and armor. Many magic items have a mind of their own and an agenda. Magic items of the lesser sort are part of everyday life. Items like magic lanterns, magical doors, pumps, and elevators. Beware! Anything of value can be treasure. An old book may be worth more than a pile of gold. A DUNGEONPUNK takes advantage of the situation and succeeds where other fail. Beware of cursed items as one cannot get rid of them easily. All cursed items have an agenda and that normally means you might be used and die in the process. Try and give them away or even better sell them to someone who sucks. Let's not forget that swords can fail you, stealth can fail you, magic can fail you, and even the gods can fail you. Always have another plan and an escape route. When you run out of Destiny then you are at the mercy of the dice and the dice hate you

http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/211061/DUNGEONPUNK-Character-Sheet

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

ADVANCED DUNGEONPUNK DUNGEONMETAL

http://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/214744/Advanced-Dungeonpunk-Dungeonmetal


DUNGEONPUNK 
the 
Essay 
and 
Advanced Classes


Help me sell 1.5 million copies 
of 
DUNGEONPUNK
and/or
ADVANCED 
DUNGEONPUNK 
DUNGEONMETAL
 it's
also
only 
$1.00



Monday, June 5, 2017

DUNGEONPUNK

DUNGEONPUNK

The stinking dirty giant rotting cities built upon many layers of ancient ruins. The pitiful and weak people hiding in dread behind great stone walls from the chaos outside. All surrounded by the dark and unforgiving wilderness of a dying world.

Far and wide the stony mysterious remnants of some lost foreboding and ancient powerful civilization peak forth from the ruins scattered across the realms waiting centuries to be explored! Ancient and forbidden monster and forgotten nameless demon filled dungeons deep and full of marvelous plunder. The omens have been read and the signs in the stars tell of this age of adventure!

The desperate, brave, pious, and insane adventurers in search of magic and treasure so that one can gain fame, comfort, drink, and pleasure! The fools that delve deep and fear not stirring up of the ancient powers that hide away in the darkness, least they die invisible and forgotten after time! No not these brave and foolhardy ones! Their names shall be remembered and etched in the tales and legends of many generations!

So one may take the sword, dagger, staff, and mace and go forward! Forget not your trusty backpack and equipment for adventure! It is time for one to begin their adventure and not die forgotten by time!

Monday, May 29, 2017

My MMORPG Idea Part 2

Let's face it, MOST MMORPGs SUCK!

I have a better idea that has not been done before as a MMORPG but I don't know how to use most of these readily available already built engines. 

Get rid of the complication. One could sit down and figure out the controls and that's all they need to know. 

No Mercy!

Make it dark and scary!

A world with extreme seasons.

A huge medieval fantasy world.


Total sandbox where there are no power limitations. 

The only thing that should increase is HP and Gold to buy better weapons and armor.

There would be no Damage Creep from weapons unless magical.

ONLY HP and AC increase.

AC stops damage.


Sheild adds 1
Light 1
Medium 2
Heavy 3

Magic Armor can be greater so there is a chance that someone won't be able to damage a more powerful encounter. Those with no armor can run faster. 

SLOW natural healing.

Weapons do a base damage.

Punch 1
Dagger/Stick 2
Small 3
Medium 4
Large 2H 5
Better quality weapons and magic weapons do more damage. 

Ranged weapons have limited range and one must slow down or stop to fire so if one can run away from a more powerful enemy.

XP only increases if you rest.

If you rest in an unsafe area then you might not get to rest.

You gain a class AFTER you start out as a zero level peasant with 4HP and a Dagger/Stick until you get training. The game would be pure PVP so run away from armored jerks.

Here is my BAD rendition of what the screen would look like IF I found someone to do this.


There would be 4 attributes that range from 1 to 4 with a 6 maximum. 
You get to split ten points between them.  

Might
Moves
Mind 
Manipulation

IF your score is 4 or more then you can do double damage on a 1. 

At 10th level you get to add 1 point to an attribute. 

Make there be four classes.

Fighter - Has really Large HP and AC. Can use all weapons. HP 10/lvl

Rogue - Has Medium HP and Light AC. Can use most weapons.  Can hide and sneak (Like Thief). Pick locks and traps. Pickpocket the unwary.  HP 6/lvl

Priest - Has Medium HP and Heavy AC. Can use weapons chosen by gods, Does extra damage against the undead and evil beings.  Can banish evil beings such as undead. Has healing spells plus a very few others. HP 8/lvl

Wizard - Has Light HP and no AC. Can use a few weapons. Has a small list of spells that help party and do damage. More powerful spells are dependent on levels. HP 4/lvl 

Permanent Death unless you have a Priest of enough high level to raise you IF you have the gold.

Races would give small benefits.
Human
Elf
Dwarf
Halfling
Gnome
Drow
Fey
maybe some others.

Get rid of the complication.


Magic would be a circular menu and spells cast from it.


Total character customization in the looks department. Armor and weapons would have at least five different looks.

The game would be level based. IF you survive to 2nd level then your hit points go up. 

Have gritty towns and easy to kill towns people.

NO STUPID FLOATING NAMES over the Characters. You won't know IF the encounter/enemy is an NPC or PC.


Combat very much like Dark Souls, GTA, Red Dead Redemption, or Mad Max

Only the mouse keys and the mouse moving around to do combat.

Left lick and mouse movement attack. Various cool combat maneuvers instead of just a simple swing. 

Right Click Shield.

Double tapping movement keys dodge!

Wizards/Priest need to stay back and cast their small list of spells on a rotary menu by the middle key.

Get rid of the complication.

Have huge open worlds with classic RPG monsters.

Huge open worlds with terrible weather and natural disasters! 

An open World with high mountain forest and deep chasms. A world that has ruins everywhere.  

Huge worlds with walled towns and cities! The game is PVP but the guards will keep you safe. 

Every building can be entered.

All items can be pilfered.

Interesting NPCs that have daily lives. They talk and converse. 

Powerful NPCs, so don't piss them off.

All actions will effect the game world.

Huge mega dungeons!

Staying outside of town/city is deadly unless you find a safe place!

Guards in town will protect people attacked. IF a PC is too powerful for the guards they will get help. 

Have a light source.

Have food and water.

Have blankets for warmth in the high mountains.

Sandbox worlds where if you run into something too powerful and you don't run away you die.

No formal guild or party system, just if you meet up on screen then you go adventuring with each other.

A player would have to get his character to a safe place between games.

A few starting safe areas but once you are in the wilderness then permanent death of character unless raised by a priest. There would be ways to resurrect any character.

Have a graveyard.

There would be high level NPC priest that could raise a dead character at a cots. IF the player is poor then they are pout on a geas. .

The map is only so large but have simple minecraft type editing where the world could be built upon.

New map additions are first come first serve BUT can be deleted or moved by admins if not acceptable. 

IF you are a game designer then I have the ideas! Get with me! We could make the best MMORPG game ever!

I know this is a crazy idea but I could just find someone to make this.